I work, live, eat and breathe in the yoga world. I watch people as they come to their practice and paths with their stories. Something brought them to yoga because often nothing else was working. They had spent all the money they could on therapy, they had gone to retreats and re-birthing workshops, they tried to drown out the story with drugs and distractions and yet their stories keep coming up.
Our stories become our identity if we are not careful. If we don't figure out a way to truly let them go they will shape our lives. No matter where we try to escape, yoga, retreats, relationships, drugs -- they will eventually catch up.
I grew up practicing yoga and have incredible parents that support me in every aspect of my evolution. I have had an amazing and "easy" life. I bow daily in deep gratitude, but this being said I still have createdstories along my path.
I recently went to a yoga retreat and the minuet I arrived my stories and ideas began to bubble up. The story this time was that I did not belong here with these "self- seeking hippies.” Before I had even met the other students I had them all pegged in a box, I knew their type, "self- help spiritual widow shoppers.” All though I felt out of place I was committed to staying because I knew I had come for something deeper, I did not come to make friends. Since I was there I figured I would at least get some good yoga time in and enjoy the beautiful retreat center.
One thing I will give myself credit for is my awareness. I am very aware of my skeptical mind and the way I judge people. I have tried to change this story of mine for years, but it was just the way things were. Plus I had "justifications" for my story…. (As we all do).
Day one was great, lots of yoga, lots of sweating, lots of breathing... just enough to quite my mind so that my heart could begin to let loose. As my heart began to let loose a softness came over it, the skepticism began to fade, the judgment began to melt and the walls dividing “them” from “me” began to drop. I let go of my self-judgment and allowed acceptance first. That's when I just watched the change happen. It was as if I was watching a movie of myself. There was no effort or trying, I just showed up for class, did the yoga and meditation and my heart did the rest. Before I knew it I found myself having deep heart felt conversations with the other students. I was hugging them and saying I love you. I went from walls up, armor on, solitude to heart melting, loving bear hugs in just two days! I was not sure how I got from A to B, but whatever it was, it worked! My story of always judging the "hippies" was over. I actually fell in love with all the people there. Something inside of me recognized them without their stories once I had dropped mine. Then it was just soul to soul, human to human, and heart to heart.
We spend too much time and effort "trying" to get over our stories. We analyze, dissect and verbalize them, telling them again and again. Seeing if we can gain new positions and perspectives. The truth is when you "try" too hard at anything you’re usually no good at it, but when you let it flow people think it’s your God given gift. Being in the flow of our hearts is everyone’s gift. It does not take effort -- it just takes an allowance.
Find something that softens your heart. For me, its yoga, meditation, dance and helping others. It does not really matter what you do as long as you do it consistently. I promise once your heart softens all else will melt away. You will no longer have to figure anything out, you will wake up one day and the story will be gone. Once your truly living in your Heart you are in the home of Grace. Grace only wants what is best for you, so if you story is not serving you -- Grace will let it go, it’s as simple as that.
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